Lost and Found
by Hawki
Summary: Oneshot: Church ponders what he lost in death. Can he find it again?


Lost and Found

Disclaimer: I don't own Red vs. Blue

**XXXX**

Blood Gulch-it was strange how the most backwater piece of territory in the known universe was worthy of a simple name while planets are stars often went by simple codenames, like K525 or something equally pointless. Even more puzzling was that someone had taken the time to rename it as Coagulation. Still, at least that was a more appropriate title in a sense-it referred to what happened to your brainwaves after you'd spent a week in the God forsaken canyon.

Still, its isolation and worthlessness aside, Coagulation did indeed have some redeeming points, as was being demonstrated as the sun set. The sun having cooled over the last 856 years (the reason why the canyon had once been so arid) it now gave a more pleasant wave of heat that ensured that armour's cooling systems didn't need to be employed. A pleasant breeze was going through the canyon also, making the leaves of the few trees that were there rustle slowly and softly. And although the birds were strangely absent, their songs more than made up for their lack of visual effects.

As he stood on top of Blue Base (or Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha as it was called when a fancy name was required), Private Leonard Church was aware of all of this-a marked difference from his usual policy of walking the line between not caring and not listening. However, the methods by which he was aware of this differed from that of a normal human. Still, perhaps that wasn't surprising. No-one currently in the canyon could be accused of being "normal."

However, there was no doubt that Church's methods of awareness differed from those around him. He knew that it was warm due to the temperature function built into him. He didn't need the setting sun to tell him that it was around 6pm due to the time function built into him. He could tell that there was a breeze due to a sub-system of his motion sensors. And he could hear the birds not through ear lobes but through audio sensors.

It was strange at first but having suffered from a case of team killing, coming back as a ghost and forced to possess a robot body, Church had become used to it. Indeed, although most people would have been pissed at being denied entrance to the afterlife, Church wasn't too upset. As a robot he was superior (correction: _more_ superior) to Tucker and Caboose in every way. He could also turn his ears off on the frequent occasion that one of the two dipshits started (or in Caboose's case; continued) to annoy him. And people were understandably less inclined to socialise with a robot, thereby increasing the joy of living/remaining dead. It was hard to believe, but Church actually found himself becoming relatively happy with the state of things.

That was then though, a very different state of things to how Church felt now-hollow. What had once made him happy was now having the opposite effect. Once he was glad that he didn't have to eat or drink to remain active. However, every time he saw Caboose with a cookie and glass of orange juice he found himself missing such things. Once he was relieved that as a robot he wouldn't have to bother with intimacy, preferring to separate himself from others. He realised that such a feeling of relief had come to an end when he felt jealous as Tucker bragged as to how he'd done Griff's sister (especially so given that Church's lie detectors were coming up negative).

Church had repressed such thoughts at first but due to the static nature of existence at Coagulation he kept coming back to them. After all, the only alternatives that Church was aware of was to bitch around as if he was part of a married couple (eg Griff and Simmons), waste time attempting to assert his authority (eg Sarge), sit around watching daytime TV (eg Donut), dream of creating a socialist state run by robots (eg Lopez) obsess over girls (eg Tucker) or go on a team killing spree (eg Caboose and Sheila). Some fairly appealing but hardly worth the effort. Therefore, Church maintained his policy of inactivity and mulled over the thoughts in his head.

He'd realised what had happened-he'd lost everything that life had provided and gained everything that eternal life gave. Initially he'd been happy with the trade off. Only now was he beginning to regret what he'd lost, never to be found.

"Well well, if it isn't our stellar leader acting as lookout." A familiar voice reeking of sarcasm drifted over as Church heard the approaching footfalls of its vocaliser and the familiar guitar rift that always played when she arrived. Sure enough, Tex was walking towards him.

"Can it bitch," Church muttered as he continued to stare out into the canyon. Under normal circumstances, Church may have been more cautious of Tex, not wanting to share the fate of his team back at Sidewinder. However, it wasn't as if she could do anything-he was already dead.

Yet even with his seeming invulnerability to whatever the freelancer could throw at him, Church was still uneasy around her. It was strange, that someone who shared the same fate as he did, cursed to reside inside a robot body for eternity and could therefore relate to him. However, unlike Church, she'd never shown any unease at this. Maybe it was because she had formed a conclusion as what it all meant. Church didn't want to hang around her until he came up with some kind of insight too-he couldn't be the inferior, ignorant one after all.

"Come on Church, what's bugging you?" she asked. "I mean, you know, apart from the retards on this team?" Tex was getting too caring for her own good, but given the lack of action in Coagulation and the inability to feed her 'Rambo side' it was probably a natural side effect. And Tuesdays could only go so far.

"It's just…aw screw it Tex, how can you act so normal!?" It wasn't really anger that that was bubbling out, merely frustration (something that he felt often). "How can you act so…normal, after all this!?"

"Huh?" Once again, Church was confusing her, the only difference being that there was only one Church instead of two.

"Tex, we both died! We both lost everything that life gave us and the only things we kept from our mortality were those two idiots and a team killing tank! We-…" Church cut off abruptly. Tex's hand was on his shoulder…and oddly enough, not trying to crush it.

"Is that what you really think?" she asked softly. "Did you lose everything that life provided?"

Church was about to answer when he realised what Tex had-there were some things that lasted beyond death, things that no tank shell could destroy.

"Perhaps I did," said Church, taking Tex's hand in his. "But I found it again."


End file.
